Junior Year


Zip

Lost from reality in a completely new world of fantasy

Adrenalin pulsates steadily through my veins

The steady thump sounds of a pulse in my head

All troubles and fears magically disappear

Ready to take a leap of faith and jump off the ledge

Giving up and surrendering to the zip line

Eyes closed at first only to discover

Confidence gain in steady strides

A bird about to ascend on a flight

Harness pulling, anticipation builds up

Looking down on the universe

My eyes play tricks on me!



The rush of air on my face

Excitement at the speed of my body moving

Quickly and smoothly, zipping through trees and vines

No control as I glide from one side of a cliff to another.

The strange thrill in knowing my life is in the hands of

One thin little line suspended across a gorge.

The echo

Spontaneous screams can be heard from miles away

A new world starts to open up

I can achieve anything now

An eagle, an airplane, I am the king of the universe

Struggles overcome, no more fear of heights

I never want this wonderful feeling of owning the world to end



Water appears larger and objects quickly magnify

Closer and closer to the ground I get

I Hang on tight, don’t want to fall off

Sadly one last ride across the raging river

Feeling the cool splashes as the spray flicks across my face

I Soar like a bird, shot suddenly, then falling out of the sky

Bang! … And a steady drone of the green flat line

Heart beat stops, no more pulse, am I dead?

Walking in another dimension, like a fish out of water

I dream to be flying again

 


This poem was my best piece that I wrote junior year. Although I worked very hard on it and lot of effort was put in through drafts and conferences, I now see adjustments that can be made. This is because from last year to this year my writing has improved so much that I now see changes that I didn’t know existed, last year. If I was so to go back and make so edits on this poem, these are what they would be:

1.       I spent a great deal of this semester writing poetry. A major lesson I learned was that spacing can change the whole dynamic of poem. I feel as though the spacing I chose for the poem last year is very boring. I know that if I changed some of the alignments and spaces to fit the poem, it would not only visually enhance it but make it a lot more interesting to read.
2.       When going back and reading the poem, I feel as though some of the words, verbs especially, sound awkward. I would definitely replace some of the ones that make it sounds choppy and not flow as well as it should.
3.       I would also change my title to something more creative. I did take “Zip” from zip lining but I feel as though I could have gone for a more figurative approach rather than literal one that I did take.